Whatever You're Facing, It Didn't Start With You
Children are wonderfully sensitive creatures, with incredible capacities for learning. They learn in much smarter ways than we usually consider. Is this important to know, even if you don’t have children? Yes – we were all children at some point. This is about all of us.
Children are not so much influenced by what adults say, rather than by how adults around them respond to their needs and how they feel about it. What the child will learn about life then starts long before it is even born. When a child is conceived, it is „created“ from specific genetic and other material, carrying the predispositions and experiences of its parents, and experiences of their parents and so on. Whatever has helped the ancestors survive is passed on, in order to assure survival in the future – this means that the child is already more sensitive to certain issues from the moment it is conceived. Our ancestors survived, but they didn’t necessarily have the easiest lives – just the generation of our grandparents experienced the war.
This heightened sensitivity continues to be developed during the time the baby spends in the mother’s womb, connected to her emotional and physical well-being. The mother is also more sensitive to the issues that have been passed onto her, which influences how she has had her own needs fulfilled and what she continues to pass onto the child after it is born. Additionally, the child’s cells are already in the grandmother’s womb and are thus already influenced by the grandmother‘s well-being.
If the mum had her need for connection and love met by rejection and isolation when she was growing up, she has most likely chosen a partner that makes her feel the same way. Due to the lack of any other solutions, she probably suppressed these emotions so much that she might not even be consciously aware of them. The child is however really sensitive, so when it tries to connect to its mum for connection and love, this is what it will feel. These emotions are actually very painful, so based on the other ancestral predispositions, the child might react in different ways: by becoming completely passive or by becoming upset. This in turn usually makes the mother feel the emotions that she has been suppressing. She doesn’t know where have the emotions originated and because of our shared set of beliefs, it’s „normal“ that children are irrational and need to be trained. That can result in her disciplining the child from a place of wanting to get away from her own pain, but even if she would like to offer the child a healthy way to fulfill its needs, she doesn’t have access to her internal resources which would allow her to do so. These dynamics are of course also taking place with the father and any other adult that is important in the child's life.
Over time, the child will start associating rejection and isolation with its need for connection and love as well. This is how issues and predispositions continue to be passed through generations, except the next generation has even higher sensitivity to any given issue than the previous one, due to the amassed predispositions. That results in more and more mental and physical health issues. The pain is being accumulated in us until we see that what we have learned about the world no longer serves us, and we start looking for different ways of healing and understanding. So whatever issue you are facing right now, please remember: it didn’t start with you. But you have the power to change it.
Every one of us can learn how to release these painful patterns and stress stored in our bodies and energy fields, be it from something that we experienced in our own life or that has been passed onto us. There are many wonderful ways of doing this, which we are fortunate enough to have easy access to in today's world. If you'd like to learn what has been working the best for me personally as well as my clients, you might be interested in this.
Have a beautiful start of the week!